Let me tell you about my best friend.

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Best friend…..what does it mean?

If you look up a definition online (thanks to Urban Dictionary, only the most trustworthy of sources) it says”

“Truly, a bestfriend can be the exact opposite of you, and this usually leads to fights and difficulties getting along, but somehow you still just love them to death anyway. Your bestfriend is the one person who could not speak to you for any amount of time but you still think of them just the same. Someone who, despite all the changes a person goes through in their life, will stick by you and always accept you for who you are. A person who will always tell you what you NEED to hear, even if its not necessarily what you WANT to hear. A person who can make you laugh even on your bad days, and who makes all the problems in life seem easy to overcome, as long as you have them by your side. A bestfriend can be many things, your inspiration, your hero; bestfriends help eachother to become better people by using honest, constructive criticism that sometimes hurts to hear, but is all for the best in the end. Bestfriends are the ones that bring up touchy topics with you, even if it will risk you being angry w/ them because they care more about your well being. Your bestfriend is the one who you could piss off so badly, but in your time of need they’ll will still be there for you. A bestfriend is someone who you have shared good AND bad memories with, but you just can’t help but cherish each of them; a TRUE bestfriend is hard to come by, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.”

I have had numerous “best friends” in my life. Looking back though…. I don’t know why. What truly defines a best friend? Someone who will be there for you? Who you can be around and just be yourself? Who doesn’t judge you? I feel that a lot of us go through life and attach ourselves to people, because having a “best friend” is something that society almost requires of us. I know I have felt that way for a lot of my life. If I didn’t have a best friend, I inherently felt that there was something wrong with me. Why couldn’t I be close to someone? Why couldn’t I have something everyone else seemed to have?

As I’ve grown up, I still feel like that sometimes, but have come to realize that we all feel this way; at one point or another we have felt completely alone, no matter how many people we surround ourselves with. But when you find someone you relate to strongly or can be you, the true authentic YOU, that’s what makes us feel safe, loved, needed.

Where am I going with this?

This girl right here.

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When I first moved to Denver, I was terrified. “What if I make no friends? What if I”m just too weird or too out there or just too….me?”

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Blake is the best friend I could ask for. We have done more together in the two and 1/2 months I have known her then I have done with most people in 5 years. She pretty much knows everything about me; all my dirty little secrets, my weird habits, my everything…. and she doesn’t care. She doesn’t judge me, she listens and accepts. And I do the same for her. There are sometimes when we are exactly alike: loving Coke Zero, crushing on Demi Lovato, making the same weird assumptions about people, literally finishing each other’s sentences. And other times we’re just two different people, but still the set of friends. She goes out of her way to be an amazing fried: she threw me an awesome party, made me feel so special on my 21st and is just generally there for me 24/7. And I really hope I”m being as good of a friend back. Because people like this don’t come around too often.

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I’m just really thankful for her.

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That’s all 🙂

Wait, why am I doing this again?

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First things first, my apologies to my followers. I really fell off the bandwagon with this blog. However, I didn’t simply decide not to write, it is actually because I have been so busy…..WITH LIFE. Honestly, my life has so up and down. I have been super engaged with people, whether it’s with my sorority, my best friend here, with theater, with really anything. While I love it, I still do consider myself an introvert. I like to spend time with myself. I have no problem staying in, in my bed on a Friday night. In the past I would do this, but mostly to avoid people. Now I am trying to navigate when I’m avoiding and when I really just want to be alone. Even though I still have trouble saying no to people, I’m getting a little better at defining when I need time for myself and actually taking it, without making up excuses.

SO, this is kind of a catchup post. Prepare for an onslaught of posts, because I will be providing additional posts that go off all these topics.

1. I went to the Demi Lovato concert in September. I have only been to 3 concerts in my life and besides Michael Buble, this would be the top one. It was amazing how personal it felt, even though I was in the Pepsi Center surrounded by thousands of people. It was life-changing…. I also was fortunate enough to see Christina Perri and MKTO there as well!

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2. I am in love with my job. Nannying for Kale has been such a blessing (even though I’m not religious and I really hate using that word haha). Even though I have to wake up at 5:15 a.m. about 3-4 times a week, and get annoyed when he’s hyper, at the end of the day, I wouldn’t want to do anything else. Kale always tells me how “I’m the best babysitter ever” and he hopes he never has to have another one besides me again. And Tara has been so helpful in working with me on a schedule and just generally being so cool and understanding. They even took me out for my birthday to dinner and I just felt so loved.

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3. I participated in the Denver NEDA walk on October 5th. The only other walk I’ve done for NEDA was in Charlottesville, but this was so different. They had keynote speakers, I was a part of a team, there were hundreds of people there, and I truly felt the support and connection. I was reunited with my great friend from ERC, Ryan. He is such a caring and loving individual and I had really missed his company. I’m so grateful he lives in Denver so we can get together soon.

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4. I was sick for about 3 weeks straight. Aspartame poisoning, sinus infection, and a stomach virus. NO. THANK. YOU. I threw up more in those 3 weeks then I have in my whole life. I couldn’t smell for a good 2 weeks. The awful part was I was hungry but I didn’t know what to eat at all. I knew I had to keep up my strength. I mostly relied on gluten free baked goods and almond milk chai tea lattes from Dazbog coffee. Never in my LIFE would I have thought I would willingly get anything from a coffee shop that contained calories. But it’s not going to hurt me. It’s normal. It’s what people do.

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5. MY DAD CAME TO VISIT!!! I got into a terrible car accident about a month ago, and my poor baby Subaru was totaled. My loving dad came out to help me buy a car, since I had absolutely no idea what I would be doing…and I am so grateful he did. It was a tedious day and we trekked all over Denver, but we finally ended up with a 2007 Subaru Forester! I’m so happy that’s what we ended up with since I already know how to drive it. I love it… it’s not my old car.. but it’s pretty dang close! And I don’t think I can ever thank my dad enough for coming all the way out here to help his daughter. The love my parents show me on a daily basis is so overwhelming(in a good way!)

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6. I WAS CAST IN MY FIRST SHOW! The day has come ladies and gents. Now yes, it may be a student directed one act. Yes, it may be 10 minutes long. But still, it’s something, and it’s something I”ll take. I’m a little nervous…. I read the script last night and it’s essentially about a woman talking about how she lived in New York by herself, and an intruder comes into her house and rapes her. Like…what. I have never had to deal with adult content in any plays I’ve been in. Hell, I’ve been a dog and a bird girl. So this is definitely a leap. But I;m going to need to embrace it..that’s what theater is all about.

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O well I don’t know about you all, but I’m exhausted. I will get back on and keep you all updated. I love doing this too much to just abandon it!! But also, life calls. And that’s why I”m here 🙂

Much love!!