Good friends, good food. There’s not really much more to life.

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In my previous post, I had mentioned that I had made some amazing friends out here… which is obviously still true! Most of them have come from school, since thanks to class and theater, that’s where I’ve spent 93% of my time. With graduation coming in… 3 short months, I’ve done my fair share of panicking that I don’t HAVE friends outside of school, and what will happen come May? I’ll be alone.

ANYWAYS, that’s another existential crisis for another post, friends. Last night, I met up with a close friend of mine, as life has been pulling us so many different directions and I haven’t seen her in about a month, despite us living 7 minutes apart! We decided on burgers (which is a big step for me ED wise). I had a thought of fear and doubt in my mind heading into it, but truly reminded myself that the least harmful thing I could do to myself was is eat. I needed to enjoy this time, and try my very hardest to be engaged with her.

And you know what? I was. Normally, being out with people exhausts me. Physically, mentally, emotionally. My energy levels are low right now, and sometimes even going to meet someone completely drains me. However, I was able to totally engage with her. It felt so normal and right! When it came time to order, I ordered what KENNA wanted, with very little hesitation. Sure, that nagging voice about being too bloated and full afterwards and what would have the least calories etc., but I was able to push that aside. I’ll write a new post/review (they’re back) about the actual restaurant, as I thoroughly enjoyed it, would go back, AND THEY HAD GLUTEN FREE BUNS. Even after 3 years here, I still am amazed when I go places and can order something “normally”. What a luxury this state is 🙂

We spent a good chunk of time together and it was just so nice to actually feel relaxed in a social setting and truly enjoy time with people I treasure in my life. Anyways, it was a nice break from life it felt like.

 

 

mallory-and-i

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Well, well, well…look who we have here.

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Wow. Just wow.

Skip forward 3 years in the future and here we are.

Same girl (well no, not at all), same state, same diagnosis of Celiac, STILL in college.

So much has happened over these past couple years, it seems to hard to even try to put it into words. I have succeeded in life. I have made the greatest friends I’ve ever had. I’ve had lasting and loving relationships. I have been cast in more shows than I thought possible. I have gotten straight A’s. I have a great roommate. I am still nannying for a wonderful little guy, and another family now as well. SO MUCH has happened.

However, it has not come without its many, many tribulations. I have slipped. I have fallen. I have relapsed into my eating disorder. I have gone back to treatment.  I have had to leave school. I have lost friends. Trust has been broken. I have gotten my heart broken. So much has

And here we are. February 2017. A senior (FINALLY) in college, graduating in May! I am taking a full load of courses, still nannying, and if we’re being very honest and vulnerable, hard core struggling ED wise. Eating and behaviors have caused a downward spiral, and I am in a journey of now crawling out of this mudhole

It is not easy. Everyday I wake up with a monster in my brain, screaming at me, telling me that I shouldn’t, I can’t. And everyday I make a conscious decision to either fight that voice or go with it.

So why find/start up this blog again? I read my original message, about me wanting to use this as a place to document eating, especially gluten free food. So here we are again. And I hope that maybe I still have followers, can potentially gain more and have support as well as help people along the way.

So welcome back to me and welcome back to my followers! Let’s go!blog-photo