Good friends, good food. There’s not really much more to life.

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In my previous post, I had mentioned that I had made some amazing friends out here… which is obviously still true! Most of them have come from school, since thanks to class and theater, that’s where I’ve spent 93% of my time. With graduation coming in… 3 short months, I’ve done my fair share of panicking that I don’t HAVE friends outside of school, and what will happen come May? I’ll be alone.

ANYWAYS, that’s another existential crisis for another post, friends. Last night, I met up with a close friend of mine, as life has been pulling us so many different directions and I haven’t seen her in about a month, despite us living 7 minutes apart! We decided on burgers (which is a big step for me ED wise). I had a thought of fear and doubt in my mind heading into it, but truly reminded myself that the least harmful thing I could do to myself was is eat. I needed to enjoy this time, and try my very hardest to be engaged with her.

And you know what? I was. Normally, being out with people exhausts me. Physically, mentally, emotionally. My energy levels are low right now, and sometimes even going to meet someone completely drains me. However, I was able to totally engage with her. It felt so normal and right! When it came time to order, I ordered what KENNA wanted, with very little hesitation. Sure, that nagging voice about being too bloated and full afterwards and what would have the least calories etc., but I was able to push that aside. I’ll write a new post/review (they’re back) about the actual restaurant, as I thoroughly enjoyed it, would go back, AND THEY HAD GLUTEN FREE BUNS. Even after 3 years here, I still am amazed when I go places and can order something “normally”. What a luxury this state is 🙂

We spent a good chunk of time together and it was just so nice to actually feel relaxed in a social setting and truly enjoy time with people I treasure in my life. Anyways, it was a nice break from life it felt like.

 

 

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Well, well, well…look who we have here.

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Wow. Just wow.

Skip forward 3 years in the future and here we are.

Same girl (well no, not at all), same state, same diagnosis of Celiac, STILL in college.

So much has happened over these past couple years, it seems to hard to even try to put it into words. I have succeeded in life. I have made the greatest friends I’ve ever had. I’ve had lasting and loving relationships. I have been cast in more shows than I thought possible. I have gotten straight A’s. I have a great roommate. I am still nannying for a wonderful little guy, and another family now as well. SO MUCH has happened.

However, it has not come without its many, many tribulations. I have slipped. I have fallen. I have relapsed into my eating disorder. I have gone back to treatment.  I have had to leave school. I have lost friends. Trust has been broken. I have gotten my heart broken. So much has

And here we are. February 2017. A senior (FINALLY) in college, graduating in May! I am taking a full load of courses, still nannying, and if we’re being very honest and vulnerable, hard core struggling ED wise. Eating and behaviors have caused a downward spiral, and I am in a journey of now crawling out of this mudhole

It is not easy. Everyday I wake up with a monster in my brain, screaming at me, telling me that I shouldn’t, I can’t. And everyday I make a conscious decision to either fight that voice or go with it.

So why find/start up this blog again? I read my original message, about me wanting to use this as a place to document eating, especially gluten free food. So here we are again. And I hope that maybe I still have followers, can potentially gain more and have support as well as help people along the way.

So welcome back to me and welcome back to my followers! Let’s go!blog-photo

Let me tell you about my best friend.

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Best friend…..what does it mean?

If you look up a definition online (thanks to Urban Dictionary, only the most trustworthy of sources) it says”

“Truly, a bestfriend can be the exact opposite of you, and this usually leads to fights and difficulties getting along, but somehow you still just love them to death anyway. Your bestfriend is the one person who could not speak to you for any amount of time but you still think of them just the same. Someone who, despite all the changes a person goes through in their life, will stick by you and always accept you for who you are. A person who will always tell you what you NEED to hear, even if its not necessarily what you WANT to hear. A person who can make you laugh even on your bad days, and who makes all the problems in life seem easy to overcome, as long as you have them by your side. A bestfriend can be many things, your inspiration, your hero; bestfriends help eachother to become better people by using honest, constructive criticism that sometimes hurts to hear, but is all for the best in the end. Bestfriends are the ones that bring up touchy topics with you, even if it will risk you being angry w/ them because they care more about your well being. Your bestfriend is the one who you could piss off so badly, but in your time of need they’ll will still be there for you. A bestfriend is someone who you have shared good AND bad memories with, but you just can’t help but cherish each of them; a TRUE bestfriend is hard to come by, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.”

I have had numerous “best friends” in my life. Looking back though…. I don’t know why. What truly defines a best friend? Someone who will be there for you? Who you can be around and just be yourself? Who doesn’t judge you? I feel that a lot of us go through life and attach ourselves to people, because having a “best friend” is something that society almost requires of us. I know I have felt that way for a lot of my life. If I didn’t have a best friend, I inherently felt that there was something wrong with me. Why couldn’t I be close to someone? Why couldn’t I have something everyone else seemed to have?

As I’ve grown up, I still feel like that sometimes, but have come to realize that we all feel this way; at one point or another we have felt completely alone, no matter how many people we surround ourselves with. But when you find someone you relate to strongly or can be you, the true authentic YOU, that’s what makes us feel safe, loved, needed.

Where am I going with this?

This girl right here.

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When I first moved to Denver, I was terrified. “What if I make no friends? What if I”m just too weird or too out there or just too….me?”

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Blake is the best friend I could ask for. We have done more together in the two and 1/2 months I have known her then I have done with most people in 5 years. She pretty much knows everything about me; all my dirty little secrets, my weird habits, my everything…. and she doesn’t care. She doesn’t judge me, she listens and accepts. And I do the same for her. There are sometimes when we are exactly alike: loving Coke Zero, crushing on Demi Lovato, making the same weird assumptions about people, literally finishing each other’s sentences. And other times we’re just two different people, but still the set of friends. She goes out of her way to be an amazing fried: she threw me an awesome party, made me feel so special on my 21st and is just generally there for me 24/7. And I really hope I”m being as good of a friend back. Because people like this don’t come around too often.

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I’m just really thankful for her.

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That’s all 🙂

Wait, why am I doing this again?

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First things first, my apologies to my followers. I really fell off the bandwagon with this blog. However, I didn’t simply decide not to write, it is actually because I have been so busy…..WITH LIFE. Honestly, my life has so up and down. I have been super engaged with people, whether it’s with my sorority, my best friend here, with theater, with really anything. While I love it, I still do consider myself an introvert. I like to spend time with myself. I have no problem staying in, in my bed on a Friday night. In the past I would do this, but mostly to avoid people. Now I am trying to navigate when I’m avoiding and when I really just want to be alone. Even though I still have trouble saying no to people, I’m getting a little better at defining when I need time for myself and actually taking it, without making up excuses.

SO, this is kind of a catchup post. Prepare for an onslaught of posts, because I will be providing additional posts that go off all these topics.

1. I went to the Demi Lovato concert in September. I have only been to 3 concerts in my life and besides Michael Buble, this would be the top one. It was amazing how personal it felt, even though I was in the Pepsi Center surrounded by thousands of people. It was life-changing…. I also was fortunate enough to see Christina Perri and MKTO there as well!

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2. I am in love with my job. Nannying for Kale has been such a blessing (even though I’m not religious and I really hate using that word haha). Even though I have to wake up at 5:15 a.m. about 3-4 times a week, and get annoyed when he’s hyper, at the end of the day, I wouldn’t want to do anything else. Kale always tells me how “I’m the best babysitter ever” and he hopes he never has to have another one besides me again. And Tara has been so helpful in working with me on a schedule and just generally being so cool and understanding. They even took me out for my birthday to dinner and I just felt so loved.

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3. I participated in the Denver NEDA walk on October 5th. The only other walk I’ve done for NEDA was in Charlottesville, but this was so different. They had keynote speakers, I was a part of a team, there were hundreds of people there, and I truly felt the support and connection. I was reunited with my great friend from ERC, Ryan. He is such a caring and loving individual and I had really missed his company. I’m so grateful he lives in Denver so we can get together soon.

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4. I was sick for about 3 weeks straight. Aspartame poisoning, sinus infection, and a stomach virus. NO. THANK. YOU. I threw up more in those 3 weeks then I have in my whole life. I couldn’t smell for a good 2 weeks. The awful part was I was hungry but I didn’t know what to eat at all. I knew I had to keep up my strength. I mostly relied on gluten free baked goods and almond milk chai tea lattes from Dazbog coffee. Never in my LIFE would I have thought I would willingly get anything from a coffee shop that contained calories. But it’s not going to hurt me. It’s normal. It’s what people do.

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5. MY DAD CAME TO VISIT!!! I got into a terrible car accident about a month ago, and my poor baby Subaru was totaled. My loving dad came out to help me buy a car, since I had absolutely no idea what I would be doing…and I am so grateful he did. It was a tedious day and we trekked all over Denver, but we finally ended up with a 2007 Subaru Forester! I’m so happy that’s what we ended up with since I already know how to drive it. I love it… it’s not my old car.. but it’s pretty dang close! And I don’t think I can ever thank my dad enough for coming all the way out here to help his daughter. The love my parents show me on a daily basis is so overwhelming(in a good way!)

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6. I WAS CAST IN MY FIRST SHOW! The day has come ladies and gents. Now yes, it may be a student directed one act. Yes, it may be 10 minutes long. But still, it’s something, and it’s something I”ll take. I’m a little nervous…. I read the script last night and it’s essentially about a woman talking about how she lived in New York by herself, and an intruder comes into her house and rapes her. Like…what. I have never had to deal with adult content in any plays I’ve been in. Hell, I’ve been a dog and a bird girl. So this is definitely a leap. But I;m going to need to embrace it..that’s what theater is all about.

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O well I don’t know about you all, but I’m exhausted. I will get back on and keep you all updated. I love doing this too much to just abandon it!! But also, life calls. And that’s why I”m here 🙂

Much love!!

Have avocado…. will use :)

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Here is the life of an avocado in a nutshell:

AVOCADO

So naturally, I HAD to eat the avocado that’s been screaming at me to use it from my fridge.

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Now I won’t lie. Even though they are a GOOD fat, avocados are scary (calorie content wise). But I am recovering. And I need challenging food choices.

So what to do with it? For some reason my mind screamed “AVOCADO TOAST”

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So voila ladies and gentleman! Probably the easiest recipe known to man:

Step 1: Toast bread

Step 2: Mash avocado onto toasted bread. Lightly salt

Step 3: Enjoy your delicious repast

Not my greatest recipe (I promise more intricate ones will come 🙂 ) but I was feeling this tonight and went with my cravings!!!!!

Enjoy a selfie.

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Restaurant: Parsley

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Well I hate to say it, folks, but this post is not the one I was hoping for. I decided to try out a new little eatery today called Parsley. They seemed to have all the things I enjoy in a cute cafe: gluten-free options, extensive menu, locally sourced ingredients. However, my experience was far from impressive. The shop itself was sandwiched on a row of what looked like locally owned businesses. I hit the middle of lunch hour, so the place itself was packed. 

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The menu was displayed on the wall, and was helpful in showing what sandwiches/salads contained what. There was also an extensive lists of juices/smoothies, but that experience will be for another time.

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The first thing that struck me was there seemed to be no kitchen, just an huge open space behind the ordering counter with a sink and sandwich bar. I got up to the front of the line and placed my order. The man at the cash register did not appear to speak english very well and it took me several times repeating my order for him to finally understand what I wanted. With getting a sandwich on gluten free bread and an iced tea, the grand total was $12.95…. WHAT? Maybe I just don’t know about pricing, but for what I was served, I couldn’t help but feel like I was ripped off.

 

THE FOOD:

I ended up ordering the Tree Hugger sandwich, which came on Multigrain gluten-free bread.

 

tree hugger: organic lettuce, organic spinach, mozzarella, organic cucumber, sweet red peppers ( <– from the Parsley website)

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When the sandwich came, I was a little disappointed with how small it seemed. I think I may have been spoiled by other restaurants gluten free breads as this was smaller then what I had experienced other places. The bread wasn’t toasted so because of all the ingredients, promptly fell apart when I picked it up. I will say that the flavors were very nice. The cheese and dressing went well together and the vegetables were crisp and fresh.

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Would I come back here? Maybe…to try their smoothies, but probably not for food.

 

That’s all for today, folks. 

 

Who are you?

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Well hello!

I have wanted to start a blog for a long time now, but always debated on what the content would be. Would anybody find it amusing/interesting/helpful?  What did I even want to talk about? Something that was pertinent to my life…but what?

I recently moved to Denver, CO about a month ago, and have fallen in love with this city. One HUGE perk is that it seems to be the gluten-free capital of the United States (obviously not a proven fact, other then in my own mind of course). Almost everywhere I have gone to eat or grocery store I have been to, I have been able to find something to eat (gluten-free bread GALORE out here) or the kitchen has been able to make me something suitable to my needs. It’s a pretty great feeling.

I am also in recovery from an eating disorder, and while eating is almost always a challenge for me,  actually finding options that I enjoy in terms of food makes it easier to keep pushing in the right direction.

And then it hit me.

I will be starting college soon, and trying to balance life, recovery, and gluten-free all in one. Hell, why don’t I write about that?

So I present to you the three C’s: Colorado Celiac College girl (with a dash of recovery on the side 😉 )

If you choose to read this, I hope it’s interesting. I will be writing about numerous challenges and successes that I encounter and face, whether it be ED recovery wise, new gluten-free products/restaurants, or life in general.

That’s all for now. Thanks for following 🙂