Who’s that girl?

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WOW….. hello there!

Remember me? I’m the girl who runs this blog.

I want to apologize for my huge gap in absence…. I feel like these past couple of weeks have been so jam packed with so many things (i.e. MY MOM CAME TO VISIT :), starting school, auditions, jobs, yaddi yaddi ya….) and this blog kind of took a back seat on the list of my priorities.

I have a lot of posts to write about so I’ll try to just sum up some things in this (all of these I will write more detailed posts):

 

1. I went to a Rockies game with a girl I met on Instagram. I know that saying that sounds sketchy as hell, but I’m working on being more adventurous, I had a free Rockies ticket, she is in recovery, and I knew she lived in Denver!! We had an amazing time and it was just an awesome day. 

2. My mom came to visit me for a week, and I believe I speak for us both when I say that we had the best time we have had in almost 4 years. Yes, we ate out a lot. Yes I had terrible body image. But having an amazing time with my mom ruled over that. We got pedicures, experienced lots of local places, went shopping, went to Garden of the GOds, Ikea… and tons more. I”m actually sad she’s gone, but then it was so nice to show her MY city 😀

3. I have been in a really weird place with recovery. A girl I was in treatment with this past year at ERC passed away this morning. She was 23 years old and had just become a registered nurse. Now I don’t know all the details about what happened, but I know that she had just left treatment in late May, which kind of leads me to believe she may have passed due to some longstanding damage caused by her ED….which is such a terrible thought. I feel like I have been doing really well, but am feeling like external sources don’t believe that’s true. How do you know when you’re doing the right thing?

4. I. STARTED. SCHOOL. I haven’t been in college for 2 years, thanks to all my treatment stays. I can’t tell you how amazing it feels to be on a legitimate campus, to go to real classes, to SIT IN DESKS!! I am actually the biggest dork.. I feel like I”m so psyched to learn, whereas everyone else in my class is like “Sista, calm down. This is Public Speaking….”. I am just so incredibly grateful to have been given a second chance, that this was made possible( especially by my loving parents and family). It’s only been my first week, but I have been loving every second (even the times where I had no idea where the hell my classroom was).

5. I’ve had a number of rejections this past week, and they have been terribly disappointing. However, normally I would just give up after 1 try. That’s not happening this time. And I’m proud of that.

 

 

Like I said, more detailed posts to come!!! If you’ve kept up with me, thank you. I so dearly appreciate it!!!

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My no-good, very-weird, 16th Street encounter.

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So yesterday was a pretty nice day, I didn’t have too much going on, and I wanted to go search Barnes & Noble for a book…so I decided to hit up 16th Street Mall! I haven’t really gone anywhere near there because it’s always mobbed with people, and this girl doesn’t do parallel parking THAT well, yet. But I decided, why not?

It’s actually an awesome strip, with tons of stores and restaurants, varying from chains to local places. I spent a lot of time just wandering around and just people-watching. The mall (which is outside) actually has pianos outside that are free for anyone to sit down and play. I actually struck up  a conversation with a man that had gone to Berkeley for classical piano, and through some tragic events, ended up homeless on the streets of Denver.He goes to the mall everyday to play and hope he brings some joy to people listening.

NEVER would I have ever thought I would just take the time to sit and listen to a homeless person share their story out of interest, but I don’t know…I feel like this city has changed me. I bought him Subway after that…. it was the least I could do, after he played me a Beethoven Sonata.

As I continued down the mall, I could see somehow walking towards me. Excuse me, not walking, speed walking. Somewhere between jogging and running. I have only seen one person who moves that way. I will refer to her as A…. I knew her from my past stay at ERC. She was an older woman who would CONSISTENTLY pace up and down the hallway, always “just checking” the doors, or “just looking” for something… anything. I called BS on that pretty fast, because I knew that game. That had been me my first stay there…. any movement was necessary. But I could distance myself from her, because I knew this past stay that pacing didn’t get me anywhere…. except it got me tons of hate from other patients and a Bodybug. So yeah.

 

However, I realized this woman coming towards me was A. In my mind, I knew I should’ve kept walking, but something compelled me to say hi. I stopped her and she looked slightly confused…but then her face lit up and these words followed: “Oh my god Kenna hi!!! You’ve lost so much weight!! Ugh I”m so jealous, you look great. I have to stay at XX pounds or I have to go back. You look amazing. I have to go. Congratulations!”

 

And just like that, she was off walking again.

I was floored. What the hell just happened? How could so much come out of someone’s mouth so fast? What was I supposed to do with what she just told me? WHAT THE F***?

And my next reaction shocked me even more.

Instead of feeling proud or happy that someone noticed I may have been struggling, or thoughts congratulating me….. I felt sad. For so many reasons. I was sad she thought of struggling as something to congratulate. That she was violently pacing up and down the mall on a gorgeous day. That she seemed so distant. I was sad that it seemed ERC had not changed her at all. Now every treatment program is different, and everyone responds to things differently… I understand and respect that. But ERC truly saved my life. And I believe those close to me (family, friends) can agree. Even though I had to return, it’s not because the program had “failed me”… I had failed me and I needed to be reminded as to what I value. 

I called a friend of mine and was able to process it. She was really helpful and let me know how proud she was of me of how I handled that situation.

And you know what? I had a great rest of the day! I went out to see “Begin Again” with one of my guy co-workers. It was such a great movie and we had such a great time! We got drinks afterwards (because I am 21 and an adult 😉 ) and then went and harassed our co-workers at the good old ‘Bucks.

I’m actually amazed at how good I feel. Maybe that won’t last..who knows? I’ll bask in it for now.

Now THAT is a sandwich…. Snarf’s Review

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Ok people… I present to you a positive review!!! Haha… 

I promise I am never trying to be rude/negative, but sometimes I just have high expectations (in all areas of my life), and it’s sad to get let down.

ANYWAYS, yesterday was the LITERALLY the worst weather ever(read that in a Chris Traeger voice, from Parks and Rec). Raining, lightning, cold, nasty BLEH.

I needed a pick me up….. and I decided Snarf’s.

Now, yes, I do not want to turn to food for comfort, but I had also planned to go here for a while, and  it had been a rough day. My therapy/nutrition session went poorly (being told you gained weight sucks) and just body image was everywhere.

But I guess the winning situation is that I didn’t let that deter me from getting dinner.

Off 11th street is a little sandwich shop called Snarf’s. Now granted it’s not a lot to look at (I believe it was a garage at one point), but like the old saying, “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover”.

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For some reason, I’ve been on a sandwich kick (which once again is terrifying), but I’ll take it.

Snarfs 1

 

And damn was Snarf’s a good place to go.

For one, they didn’t just have gluten free bread… it was a gluten free sub. A regular sized sub!!! That’s is almost as uncommon as Leonardo DiCaprio winning an Oscar. I decided to get the vegetarian sandwich, which had provolone, sprouts, avocado, and lettuce. What a choice it was.

I watched as they took out special sanitized knives to cut my bread, changed their gloves, and even changed the tray in the oven to toast the bread. It’s clear they were attentive to my gluten-free needs, and that was reassuring to see. 

They gave me my sandwich and I ate it right there and then.

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HOLY CRAP IT WAS SO GOOD. Filling? Yes. Delicious?? Even more yes. Worth $11?…… ABSOLUTELY. I can’t truly describe how good this sandwich was… it was crispy and fresh but the avocado truly brought this sammie together.

Snarfs 3

If you live in Denver, please try this place. Even though service was a little slow, it was well worth the wait. And it made the weather that much more bearable 🙂

Who are you?

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Well hello!

I have wanted to start a blog for a long time now, but always debated on what the content would be. Would anybody find it amusing/interesting/helpful?  What did I even want to talk about? Something that was pertinent to my life…but what?

I recently moved to Denver, CO about a month ago, and have fallen in love with this city. One HUGE perk is that it seems to be the gluten-free capital of the United States (obviously not a proven fact, other then in my own mind of course). Almost everywhere I have gone to eat or grocery store I have been to, I have been able to find something to eat (gluten-free bread GALORE out here) or the kitchen has been able to make me something suitable to my needs. It’s a pretty great feeling.

I am also in recovery from an eating disorder, and while eating is almost always a challenge for me,  actually finding options that I enjoy in terms of food makes it easier to keep pushing in the right direction.

And then it hit me.

I will be starting college soon, and trying to balance life, recovery, and gluten-free all in one. Hell, why don’t I write about that?

So I present to you the three C’s: Colorado Celiac College girl (with a dash of recovery on the side 😉 )

If you choose to read this, I hope it’s interesting. I will be writing about numerous challenges and successes that I encounter and face, whether it be ED recovery wise, new gluten-free products/restaurants, or life in general.

That’s all for now. Thanks for following 🙂